Emotional Recovery

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Angerrrrrrr...

FROM A POST QUOTING AN ON-LINE DICTIONARY:
5 entries found for anger.
an·ger ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nggr)
n.
A strong feeling of displeasure or hostility.
v. an·gered, an·ger·ing, an·gers
v. tr.
To make angry; enrage or provoke.
v. intr.
To become angry: She angers too quickly.


If there is any one thing I've taken from my first marriage and placed in my back pocket, it is the remarkable fact that I am not responsible for another persons anger. In fact, I'm not responsible for another person's...ANYTHING!

The dictionary interpretation of the emotion is objectively correct. Anger is a strong feeling of displeasure, or hostility. However, that which she was feeling was not the result of anything I did, thought, or said.

Here's where Miriam Webster goes on her course of misdirected objectivity. "To make angry; enrage or provoke", is not my responsibility. She accomplished that on her own. I was molded for years to believe that everything she perpetrated on my children and me, was my fault. If we continue to believe that their actions are the result of our behaviors, then our entire existence is based on egg-shell-walking. I don't know about you, but living under those conditions creates a life full of anxiety and stress.

Here's the last part of the Webster's pitch: "To become angry: She angers too quickly": her angering too quickly is on her. Any excuse was a reason to emotionally, or physically damage another.

The bottom line is when we as Survivors, or as victims of current abuse, realize that our responsibility is about how we feel and react to those feelings, then we will begin to recover. Angerrrrr is a secondary emotion. Anger is a result of frustration, and/or fear. The questions are: "Am I able to intelligently communicate?", "What am I afraid of?", "How much more am I willing to ingest before I become so crippled that I'm not capable of clawing my way from the pit I've allowed myself to be placed in?"

Information is freeing! Education is enlightening! Ignorance is NOT bliss!

6 Comments:

  • At 4:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 11:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It’s 11:00 in the morning and your energy is waning. Minutes seem to tick by like hours and your mind feels foggy. You’ve still got six more hours to look alert and act productive and get over anxiety in child, so how do you cope with the afternoon blahs? Follow these six tips!

    1. If you have a job that involves sitting at a desk all day or staring at a computer screen, take five minutes to stand up or lean back, close your eyes and stretch, especially in your shoulder and leg areas. Being seated all the time can make your whole body feel stiff and sleepy. A good stretch session helps limber up your body and gets the blood flowing again.

    2. Avoid the tempting lure of caffeine or sugar-laden foods such as coffee, tea or chocolate. Caffeine may perk up your energy levels temporarily, but it also has a bad habit of leaving you sluggish after the effect has worn off. Instead, choose whole grain foods, fruits and vegetables to give your body the fuel it really wants! Eating healthier will boost your mood, elevate your alertness, change anxiety in child and make you feel better all day long.

    3. Along with healthier foods, take a quick 10-15 minute walk during your lunch break. Just a few minutes will give you a burst of energy that refreshes you and makes you feel more alert – while burning off your lunch calories in the process!

    4. Sometimes, afternoon slumps can be your body’s way of telling you that it needs something. You may be feeling tired if your blood sugar is low (which happens especially after the effect of those caffeine and high sugar foods has worn off!). Packing a low calorie snack like graham crackers, granola, fruit or vegetable slices can give your body a boost and keep you from feeling hungry in the late afternoon and caving in to the urge to devour the entire contents of the vending machine after work!

    5. Drowsiness is often a sign that you’re not getting enough water. Drinking more water throughout the day not only helps keep you awake, but also keeps you from feeling those hunger pangs that inevitably creep up in mid-morning. Taking a large sports bottle that you can drink from throughout the day is a great way to get your recommended eight glasses a day as well!

    6. If afternoon fatigue is a recurring problem, it may be a side effect of medications you are taking. Allergy pills are well known culprits, as are some blood pressure and anxiety/depression medicines. Don’t try to circumvent these effects with caffeine, otherwise you’ll overload your body with stimulants while it’s already trying to deal with drowsiness, and you’ll feel mentally and physically exhausted. Instead, try a short 15-20 minute catnap. You’ll be surprised how refresh you’ll feel when you wake up! (Don’t try this at work though – I know it’s tempting!)

    If you follow these tips on a regular basis, you’ll not only make it through the afternoon blahs, but you’ll also feel better physically and mentally, sleep better at night, and wake up rejuvenated and re-energized the next morning. Make it a GREAT day! anxiety in child

     
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